I’m so ugly. 

No guy is ever going to love me.

Said every girl.

How not to date…………………… date work colleagues

I actually got asked on a date. Feel pretty special. Until I remind myself it was a guy on Tinder and if you scroll up to previous messages he openly and honestly admitted he is looking for fun (sex). Hmmm. Maybe I will decline his invitation for “drinks”. Don’t want to get any STIs.

Recently I had sex. Really I did. I swear. Although it was a stupid decision and I probably shouldn’t have done it. I did the classic thing – I slept with a work colleague. 

We were out for drinks as a group and somehow in my drunken state I was pulled towards him. We kept going outside for “cigarettes”, or more accurately to make-out away from the glaring eyes of the rest of our co-workers. Felt like a teenager with all this making-out. I was feeling a bit desperate so it was 100% the attitude of “may as well”, “not much to lose” and “better than nothing”. Not going to lie he wasn’t that attractive but he’d do. And I’m not a supermodel so I’m not one to talk. 

Eventually, the night was drawing to an end so I being the confident woman that I am, invited him to mine. Also, it should be noted that I have a single bed. (In Italy I think it is normal when you rent a room as a single woman to be given a single bed, no naughty business allowed). We drank more wine, smoked more cigarettes on my balcony.

After a while, we got down to business. It was ok, quite nice. Maybe too nice. He annoyed me a bit because he kept complimenting me and calling me babe. argh. “Babe you’re gorgeous”, “babe you’re so fit” and “babe your boobs are amazing”. argh. I kept thinking ‘how many times can you say babe?’ I just stuffed his head in my “amazing” boobs to shut him up and looked at the pillow and pictured panzerotti guy (see my first post for the low-down) to keep me going. 

Then he did something weird, he hit my bum. I say hit because it was so light. Doesn’t get to qualify as a slap. It did nothing to turn me on. Told you he was too nice. I mean if had fully slapped it, I could have gotten down with it, but it was the fact it was such a light hit that it became weird. Anyway, it was ok, better than no sex at all. He left. I watched some game of thrones and fell asleep.

The next day it was awkward at work. He being too nice didn’t confront the situation at all. Me being shy was too embarrassed to say more than hello. Also, me being a bit old-fashioned expected the boy to say something first. It made me laugh inside though, because you have seen each other naked but can’t even muster up more than a ‘hello, how are you?’

Advice for dating – don’t date or sleep with a colleague to avoid awkwardness at work. If you do date a colleague make sure they know how to slap properly.